This week was one of the rougher ones

This week was one of the rougher ones I have had on my mission. It wasn't hard in some ways that I have had hard weeks, nobody argued with us, none of our investigators dropped us, and we didn't get in a car accident, except I did accidentally break our windshield but I don't have to pay for it so its not too bad.  We just kind of struggled to be as motivated as we needed to be. Nobody that we tried to contact and talk to wanted to learn anything new, none of the less active members that we usually visit were available, and our only investigator cancelled on us this week. It got me down a little bit and then when I went on an exchange with one of my co-district leaders and I got a little more stressed and down because I saw the things they had going for them and started comparing it to what we have in our area. But I did realize that even though its hard here that I have come to love this place a lot more than I ever thought I would, this was actually one of the areas in the mission that I had hoped to never get assigned to after going to one of the sacrament meetings, but slowly and surely it has grown on me as all my areas have. The whole day I just wanted to go back to my area and do things there so I was super excited when we exchanged back. I have a super good feeling about next week and I think something good is coming our way. My big hope is that right now we can somehow get somebody new and prepared to teach on my birthday, I don't think there would be any better present that I could receive from anybody than to get that from our Heavenly Father.

We got to go to the temple on Saturday and it was one of the best experiences I have had there in a long time. I really love going there and feeling the peace and calm that comes from being in the house of the Lord. Being able to sit in the Celestial room and pray and read in the scriptures and seek help and answers to my questions is one of my favorite experiences. There is just a special closeness to Heavenly Father that can be felt in there. 

This week during church the ward did something cool. Two of the moms of missionaries were given the assignment to do a "missionary moment" and give the ward an update of how their kids were doing. Sister Flora, the bishop's wife, talked about their son Max who is serving down in Hermosillo, Mexico. A lot of the things that she read were some of his emails about how much he has felt himself change over the 8 months he has been on his mission and it made me think about myself and the last year. Over the past few weeks I have been thinking a lot about who I am now and about how I act as a missionary. Hitting my year mark made me think back to when I first came into the mission and about how my trainer and one of my roommates, two of the missionaries that I spent the most time around, were at a year and how much I looked up to them and to their example as to how I should act. I can see different parts of how they did things in the way that I act but I can also see how I have slipped some in my example. I have started to wonder about how the new missionaries that I'm around look at me and it has motivated me to do better and be better so that they can learn from me in a positive way instead of learning what not to do, especially since there are a lot of elders coming into the mission and the chance that I will train one of them is really high. I remember at the transfer meeting when I joined the mission and I was walking out with my trainer one of the sister missionaries that he was friends with came over to us and told me that my trainer was one of the most obedient missionaries in the mission and that really stuck with me. I know that thats not what people will say about me, but I hope that people can see how much I care about those around me and how much I love being a part of this work. I have learned so much more about who I need to be and I have come to love the gospel so much more. I truly know that our Savior, Jesus Christ lives and that through His Atonement we can be forgiven of the mistakes we make and that we can gain strength when we need it most. I know so much more of the love that Heavenly Father has for all of us and I can feel that love for those I serve and those I serve with. I know that we have been given the Plan of Salvation as a guide for us to be able to return to live with our Heavenly Father again and I have seen the hope and light that this plan can bring when life gets dark and there seems to be no escape. I have loved this first year of my mission and I can't wait to change and grow even more in the next year.

Love

Elder Cheever