Being a missionary is...

This week was pretty rough. We worked really hard on Tuesday for Elder Butler's last day so that we could send him off strong. We made plans to just tract one really long street in our area for most of the day because we had nothing set and as we did that things fell into place and we ended up having a really good lesson with Raul, helping a nonmember with some service from a member referral, and had dinner with a less active in the ward so it ended up being a great day.

The lesson with Raul couldn't have come at a better time and I don't think it could have gone any better (except maybe if he told us he knew the Book of Mormon was true and that he would be at church the next three weeks so he could get baptized as soon as possible.) We went into it planning teaching the Plan of Salvation and addressing a couple of his concerns but when we were talking with him he talked about how it keeps getting harder and harder to not have a job. That morning as I studied I prayed that something I read would be able to help somebody throughout the day and then I dug into the Book of Ether. At the beginning of the lesson I felt prompted to share a thought about when the Jaredites were in their barges crossing the ocean to the promised land. Moroni writes that they were carried across by furious winds and mighty tempests until they reached the promised land and based on an Ensign article I read one time I had a sticky note in my scriptures that mentioned that in life we go through fierce winds and storms to guide us to all that our Heavenly Father has promised us. After sharing that with Raul I also talked about the cycle that occurs in Ether of the people following the commandments, becoming prosperous and happy and then falling into wickedness and I testified to Raul that if he keeps the commandments and the commitments that we leave with him that things will come together in his life. It touched him a lot and then we asked how his reading was going and he said that he had actually read in the Book of Mormon on his own which was amazing. We talked a little about that and then I asked how things were going quitting smoking and he said he hadn't smoked for a couple of days because he ran out of cigarettes and doesn't have much money left. Then Elder Butler asked when he read in the Book of Mormon and he told us it was a couple of days ago and he realized that by reading it probably helped him to not want to smoke or to have withdrawals which was a huge step for him to realize. When he prayed before he left he earnestly asked to know if the book and the church are true so that he can know and follow Christ better and so that he can be baptized in October. It was a great last investigator lesson for Elder Butler.

The rest of the week went by really slowly and was pretty difficult. I've been just tired of this area and its been hard to see why I'm here and I feel pretty useless. On Thursday night I was really just done and I felt super depressed so I asked Elder Boggess if they could come over and give me a blessing. Its such a blessing to have a good friend like him nearby who knows me and is my friend and who has been in this situation too, to give me a blessing. It was really powerful and he mentioned the fact that I'm making an impact here in all of the seeds that I'm planting and specifically mentioned some people in this ward that I have been trying to work with. The next day nothing went as planned and I was tired by the end of the night again and after attempting to visit a potential investigator I got really depressed so I said a quick prayer asking why I'm even here if nothing is happening and immediately into my head came this song called "The Harvester" that we listen to but the next thought was that it didn't apply to me, that I'm here to be a sower and to plant all the seeds that need to be planted and that then somebody else will be brought into be the harvester of the crops that I have prepared. It was kind of hard to get that answer but I realized that planting the seeds is just as important as harvesting because without a sower there would be nothing to be reaped. I began to think of the over 750people that I have contacted in the last 6 weeks and the probably 130ish copies of the Book of Mormon that I have given out and I realized that thats a lot of seeds to plant and a lot of chances for people to accept the gospel at some point. I know now that I need to just look at everything I do as planting seeds and that even if nothing comes from it while I'm here that if I can say I've done that it means I've done my job. 

Being a missionary is hard and sad and tiring, but at the same time its happy, and fun, and the best thing ever. Its crazy how all those things can be compounded into one and how you can go through all of them every single day and keep on going for two years, its definitely only possible with Heavenly Father's help. I know that if I was alone in this and it wasn't true and good that I'd have peaced out of here a long time ago. But I'm not alone so I keep on going each day hoping that things will work out in the end. I know that there are people here waiting to hear about the restored gospel and I know that what I share can help them. 

Love

Elder Cheever